The Truth about Barbie:

I was two years old when she arrived…

On March 9th, 1959.

A Slender

Blond

Bomb-shell

With a fabulous

Wardrobe and car

A dream-house taboot!

 

Everyone wanted her,

With her perky tits

Nice skin

Slim waist and

Curves galore.

 

We thought she was special

Wanting to

Pattern our lives after her

How foolish we were

Until we found out

That she was a flirt

Cavorting with

Ken and Skipper…

Just to name a few

It was rumored

That she had GI Joe’s

Nose wide open

She had all the Mattel men

Wrapped around her finger.

 

Barbie wore…

Red Lipstick

Fishnet stockings

With stilettos

Mini skirts

Where you could

See the moon

If she leaned over

Far enough.

 

She didn’t have a job

So how could she afford

That dream-house

That nice car

The camper

The vacation home

Those diamonds and furs

And all those other fancy things?

 

Who was her supplier

Who Filled her closets

How do you think she was

Financing all those trips?

 

I mean, she had it all

How did she get it?

Who was she beholding to?

Humm…

It only leaves one to believe

That sweet

Innocent

Nice dressing

Mild- mannered

Classy Barbie

Wasn’t so classy after all!

 

Now that she’s older

Senility has set in.

 

At night she removes

One arm

Grabs her smokes

She sits gapped-legged

With her teeth in a glass

Beside her bed

Her hair hangs from a wig-stand

On a shelf In her bedroom closet

She has varicose veins

Her skin sags around her ankles

It’s very, very wrinkly

She has calloused feet

Her stomach and breast

Both sag down low

Merging into one another

Her butt has disappeared

And age spots

Like the US map

Connect the dots

Across her face and arms.

 

In her mid-50’s

Barbie is an alcoholic

There were rumors that

She has joined a motorcycle gang

She’s a mental wreck

On nerve pills.

 

The Truth is…

Barbie’s going through menopause

She can’t remember

Who she is

What she’s done or

Who she’s done it with

She can’t remember

Where she’s been and

Barbie can’t remember

That she isn’t as classy as

She had once believed

Hell!

She can’t even remember

What classy means.

 

With a nurse at her side

To guide her…

She’s not the same girl

We used to know.

 

At this stage in her life

Now that…

Barbie is all broke-down

Toothless and bald.

 

Do you think

Ken, Skipper and GI Joe

Still would be interested in her?

Can she pull ’em like she use to?

I’m Just sayin’.

 

-Terri A. Durden

3-9-2014 @ 10:30pm.

(Happy Birthday Barbie!)

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